Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Costco Criminal, that's me.

So after finishing up my DMV test for my Class B license, I decided to celebrate enduring that bureaucratic nightmare for over 3 hours and treat myself to a Costco Very Berry Sundae

Now, you all may remember that the Costco in San Marcos is pretty anti-gun but that is, as far as I knew until today, only an issue when entering the store. I was outside, eating my sundae, checking out the random hotties and texting on my cell phone for about 9 minutes before I was approached by 4 people. Bear with me as multiple people were involved and all were invariably moronic.

Woman: Sir, if you're going to carrying a weapon on the premises you're going to have to take the gun somewhere else.
Oh, OK
Woman: Thank you
I wasn't aware that that was the policy
Woman: Actually, it is the state of California, you aren't allowed to carry a...
Actually, you are.
Guy 1: Not unless it is concealed.
Who told you that?
Guy 1: My father-in-law is a police officer.
Well, your father in law is severely mistaken.
Guy 1: Is he?
Guy 2: Are you with Turner's?
*Pulling out wallet to get business cards*
You actually don't have to have it concealed. In fact, with a CCW permit you can carry it openly.
*Guy 1 refuses to take my business card*
Oh, you don't want to inform yourself of the law?
Guy 2: Well, we are all just wondering why.
Well, why not?
*said something about questioning the need for it while eating ice cream*
Well, do you have a license to exercise your Constitutional rights?
Guy 2: Well, it is just intimidating to see someone carrying a gun.
While eating a sundae and texting on a cell phone?
Guy 2: It is just intimidating for me as I walk by and see that.
Woman: Go call the police.
Oh, I am leaving.
Woman: If you don't want to leave the premises then we will just call the police.
I am not objecting, I just said that I would go.
Woman: OK, thank you, thats all.

With that, I left.

Now, I know that logic is a hard thing to come by in this state run by lobotamied monkeys but for the sake of argument, let us analyze a few things.

1) I am SOO intimidating and dangerous that it took not one but four UNARMED individuals to come and ask me to leave?

2) Grocery store employees are now trying to enforce state laws, especially ones that don't exist?

3) Let's analyze her opening line: Sir, if you're going to carrying a weapon on the premises you're going to have to take the gun somewhere else. To me, that sounds like an open invitation to carry everywhere else on the premises but right there. Who learned them how to spake?

4) So lets say the police are called... what happens in the meantime? Are these employees going to hold me down and make sure I don't so anything naughty? For crying out loud, these people must be severely disabled.

Which leads me to what I have learned about store employees... they are the one group of people most willing to confront reportedly dangerous people while being unarmed. Makes no sense, huh?

5) Funny part of this whole thing: The guy that said he was scared of me being armed is the same guy that did my tires not 3 weeks ago.

Perhaps I should coordinate a cool OC outing to this Costco, that should just drive them bonkers. In order to do it, however, we need a bunch of moms with little kids... any takers?




blake121184 said...

I really enjoy your blog, I'm in the process of informing myself about OC so it's really helpful.

Also I've been reading over at http://www.californiaopencarry.org/

Anyways, I hope to someday OC.


J.R. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
J.R. said...

Class B?

At least they're practicing safety in numbers. Unloaded guns can only become sentient and grow limbs to shoot one person at a time.

elsensei said...

JR, you're right. But if you practice the "clip and cauterize" technique I perfected, based on Hercules' defeat of the Hydra, you can relax somewhat.

Erik said...

Hey Nate... I'd do that with ya...

Repeat of the MN carry thing I told you about. I'm sure I could get my mom and little sis to go as well...

I'm sure they'd get a kick out of that :-P