Friday, April 3, 2009

Society Billiard Cafe

Took a girlfriend of mine out to shoot pool in Pacific Beach last night. We parked on Garnet around 8:15 pm and I took a moment to put a fresh battery in my recorder. Then I strapped on the Glock and mags, stuffed some tri-folds in my right rear pocket and offered her my arm. She accepted and instead of crossing the street where we were, we walked down the block to the crosswalk and waited for the light to change.

Yes, horror of horrors, if not OCing I would have jaywalked. But it's wise to be prudent when you're dealing with a police force that is looking for any excuse to arrest you for exercising a right that SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED.

Another reason the establishment should welcome free men exercising their rights: under the current political climate, it makes OCers even more law-abiding.

Society was not busy with less than half of their tables in use. The doorman was checking ID and we made small-talk while my date delved in her purse for her driver's license. Passing muster, we made our way to the bar in the back of the pool hall and ordered up a table, a pizza, an icewater for me and a pear cider for her. The barmaid didn't bat an eye. Well, not at the gun, but I think she was kinda flirting with me otherwise.

We were midway through our fourth game when a buxom blonde walked up and somewhat apologetically asked me what I do for a living.

"I'm an entrepreneur." (so now open carry is a great way to meet women. will the benefits never cease?)

"Oh. But you have a gun. I thought you might be a private investgator or something."

"Nope. Just a regular citizen exercising my rights."

"My husband was kind of jealous that you're wearing a gun." (husband. dammit!)

"Well, is he still here? Have him come over!"

She beckoned across the room to a man who had been watching these proceedings, and he walked over and said hello. We made introductions all around.

"Hi. Your wife was saying that you're envious that I'm carrying. Do you have a gun?

"Yeah, and I wish I could carry but I don't have a permit."

"You don't need a permit to open carry," I said, whipping out a tri-fold. "There are a few hoops you have to jump through, though. This explains all the laws."

"At first I thought you were a bounty hunter or something."

"No, just a citizen. I think we're losing our rights in this country and luckily the supreme court finally admitted what pretty much every American already knew, that the second amendment protects and guarantees an individual right to keep and bear arms, not a collective right. So I carry as a political statement. And on a practical level, because any nutcase could walk in here and start shooting up the place and we're supposed to dial 911 and hope really really hard that the police get here before we're all dead. Not me."

He nodded in assent. "I agree. Well this is all good to know and I'll definitely read up on this. Thanks!"

"Have a good night."

And with that, they went back to their game and we returned to ours.

For those who are keeping score, (victim disarmament advocates -especially legislators- I'm looking in your direction) add these to your tallies:

Weapons brandishings: 0
Faintings: 0
Heart attacks: 0
Soiling of trousers: 0
Pantswetting Incidents: 0
Panicked Patrons: 0
Accidental Discharges: 0
Number of times Gun Sprouted Legs and Ran Amok, Pulling its Own Trigger (GSLRAPOT): 0
Number of times someone spotted me and was inspired to take my weapon from me while I rolled over into the fetal position, bleating with fear and crying for police protection: 0

And the big one, taking a cue from the "we CAN prove a negative" Bush administration that untold number of terrorist attacks were averted because we gave up our rights, we now carry our toiletries in 1-quart plastic bags and send our shoes through metal detectors;

Crimes averted that night because I was armed (conservative estimate) : 8 billion. One crime for every person on the planet, plus an extra 2 billion for the recidivist 33% of the population. I was armed, those 8 billion crimes didn't happen, therefore, they didn't happen BECAUSE I was armed. Simple, eh? ;)

Score another one for an armed populace.

I hope you all get as good a laugh reading these as I do writing them.




Chris said...

Keep up the good work!

Flintlock Tom said...

Outstanding. Keep up the good work and spreading the good news.
Oh, and I didn't get carjacked last Friday. I assume it's because you were carrying. Thanks.

elsensei said...

That is correct. Anything bad that didn't happen to anyone last friday was because I was carrying. Glad to be of service